Recommended Adoption Books
Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search for Self
Authors: David Brodzinsky, Ph.D; Marshal D. Schecter,M.D; & Robin Marantz Henig
The Primal Wound – Understanding the Adopted Child
Author: Nancy Verrier
Coming Home to Self – The Adopted Child Grows Up
Author: Nancy Verrier
The Adoptee Self- Reflection Journal
Author: Dr. Chaitra Wirta-Leiker
Decoding Our Origins: The Lived Experiences of Colombian Adoptees
Understanding Your Grief: Ten Essential Touchstones for Finding Hope and Healing Your Heart
Author: Alan Wolfelt, Ph.D.
It’s OK That You’re Not OK
Author: Megan Devine
Humans in Crisis: Grief Management
Your Creative Best
In part two of Humans in Crisis, Cherish Brown discusses the impact and importance of grief with Meg Eifrig, LCPC. Meg offers general guidance on processing loss and how it is a unique experience for all.
Listen on Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/your-creative-best/id1461719352?i=1000473555934
How to Support a Grieving Person
by Meg Eifrig, LCPC
Continue to show up for the grieving person. Often times the person who is grieving does not have the energy to reach out or return your call/text/email. Please don’t take this personally. Continue to call/text periodically, but don’t overwhelm. This lets the person know you have not forgotten them and that you plan to be there even after most people have moved on into their day to day lives. You can even write, is it OK for me to keep reaching out to you? Instead of asking “how are you?” You can say,” I am here to listen whenever you are ready.” Or I will stop by on (specific date) and bring some groceries or a meal. There are times when grieving people need some space and times when they just need someone to be there with them, even if it is to sit in silence. If visiting them is an option, make a point of doing that. If you are bringing them something, let them know it is ok if they are not up for a visit. You can leave your gift or food in their mailbox or in a cooler. Make sure they know nothing is required of them.
One of the many struggles for grievers is that they often do not know what they need or how to articulate it. Make time to find out what your grieving person needs. Perhaps there is a way for them to let you know when they want to talk about their loss and a way for them to let you know when they don’t. In my work, I sometimes hear clients say that they appreciate when someone asks questions first. For example,” I have a video/photo of your loved one. Would you like me to send it to you now or would that be too hard today?” This allows for the person to say, “Hey not today but please keep that video or photo for when I am ready.” It can take some time for the grieving person to re-orient themselves enough to figure out how to express their needs. Be patient.